Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Chapter 4- Awkward Attraction

"Well I guess it's lucky for you that Edward has always put up with you and your craziness then, huh?" Rose asked as she sat in the chair and sipped on her water.

"Yeah, I guess I have been pretty lucky. Even through all of the high school drama, he was there. It didn't matter if I had a boyfriend, or if he had a girlfriend, we were always there for one another." I was once again in a daze. It seemed like everything said brought back some kind of memory. The days of high school came flooding back to me.

"Bella? You're in your own world again!" Alice shouted at me.

I shook my head. "Sorry. I can't help it. I'm all over the place today. I was just thinking about high school. That was when our families bought houses right next to each other. Like Edward and I weren't close enough already."

"It sounds like you're complaining about having him next door." Alice interjected.

"Well, I knew he liked me. He was never open about it, but after that time when we were seven, I always knew. I just couldn't risk losing him as my best friend, but for the most part I didn't look at him in a romantic way. He was the little boy I used to play with in the mud."

"Was he as good looking then as he is now?" Rose asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. Like I said, I didn't look at him like that back then. We did everything together. We lived next door to each other, went to school together, went to sporting events together, our families even went on vacation together. After a while, everyone just assumed that we were boyfriend and girlfriend because we were always together."

"I bet the vacations were fun. Having hot ass Edward running up and down the beach." Alice exclaimed.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good vacation to me." Rose said as he laughed.

"They were fun, but I could never meet any men because he was always with me. Our parents even had us sleep in the same bed sometimes."

"Wait, I thought Charlie wouldn't let you two be close or alone or anything?" Alice questioned.

"That was true for a while, but as we got older and Charlie saw that I wasn't interested in Edward like that, he didn't worry anymore."

"Oh, okay. You are better than me. If I had Edward in my bed, I would've had to jump him!" Rose exclaimed.

My head instantly went to the time when Edward and I had went to the beach with our families in the summer. We were sixteen years old, and you couldn't tell us anything.

Bella 16 years old

"Mom, Edward and I are gonna go ride around and see what we can find."

"Okay, you two be safe. Be back by six. We are going to dinner." Renee said as she continued to lay on the beach.

"Will do, Mom." I said as I turned to run back up to the room.

"You ready to go?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, we are good to go." I answered. We walked out to the parking lot and got into Edward's car. We were so excited about finally being sixteen, and there was no way one of us wasn't going to bring a car.

We got in the car and let down the windows. We pulled onto the main strip of road that ran the length of the beach. We turned up the music and we were totally jamming out. It was the best! It felt so free to be with my best friend and without our parents. The girls were trying to talk to Edward as they passed by and the guys were trying to talk to me. I can't tell you how many times I had to tell them that he wasn't my boyfriend. He looked a little hurt the first few times I said it, but then he was saying the same thing to the girls.

It was finally time to go back to the hotel and go to dinner with our parents. After dinner we could hardly contain ourselves. We were so ready to get away from our parents. We enjoyed the freedom of going out and meeting new people without them. It made us feel like we were almost adults.

One of the local clubs was having teen night and our parents agreed to let us go. My parents weren't worried because they knew that Edward would never let anything happen to me.

We were walking around the club, surveying the people and figuring out where we wanted to situate ourselves. We decided to grab a couple seats by the bar since it was close to the dance floor. Edward wasn't the best dancer, but I had been trying to teach him.

We ordered a couple of sodas and sat down for a few minutes. There were a few girls eyeing Edward, but looked as if they were unsure of his status. So, I got up and walked away. I wasn't going to block him from meeting girls. Hopefully without him around, I would meet a guy or two.

Shortly after I found a new seat, a really handsome, well built, dark haired guy came up to talk to me. He was amazingly good looking. I honestly had no idea what he was saying, but his muscles, looks, and smile was saying enough for me. Before I knew it, he was standing up and holding out his hand to me.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"I asked if you wanted to dance?" He replied.

I smiled. "Oh, of course."

We passed by the table Edward was sitting at, and I noticed the group of girls were still sitting there and smiling while he talked.

Once we were on the dance floor, the new guy and I began to move with the beat of the music. He was surprisingly a good dancer. Who was I kidding? The way that man's body was built, he could've stood there and smiled and I would've been amazed.

Just as new guy and I were enjoying ourselves, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder.

I turned to see who it was. "What's up, Edward?" I asked. I couldn't believe he was seriously interrupting me.

"You wanna dance?" He asked.

Seriously Edward? No!

"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, why not?"

"Because I'm dancing with this hot ass guy right now!" I replied.

"Oh, fuck it then." He angrily replied as he turned to walk away.

I felt bad for about a half of a second until I turned around to new hot ass guy.

"Is that your man?" He asked.

"Not even close." I replied.

He shrugged his shoulders, and we continued to dance for a while.

I later noticed that Edward was dancing with one of the girls from earlier. She was tall, thin, blonde. She looked cute from behind so who knew what her face actually looked like.

I felt a small twinge of jealousy, but pushed it back. I didn't even know where it had come from. I had never been jealous of Edward and another girl; especially when I had new guy in front of me.

The rest of the night went by without incident, and next thing I knew, Edward and I were laying in the bed together making jokes about the people at the club.

"I cannot believe you two slept in the same bed and didn't do anything!" Rose said.

"Believe it. It was like that for years. We were just friends."

"But you said you felt a little bit of jealousy when he was dancing with that chick, right?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. And?"

"You never got jealous when he had a girlfriend?" Alice asked.

I thought about it for a second. "Yeah, eventually I did. He was dating this girl in the eleventh grade. It was the first time he was serious about a girl. He had told me how much he loved her, and that made me really jealous. Him dating girls, and him falling in love with them were two totally different things. I could handle him dating, but it seemed Edward in love wasn't something I could handle."

"Did you say anything to him?" Rose asked.

"Not for a while. I was still shocked myself. Why had it taken so long for me to realize my feelings for him? I couldn't process it all, and he seemed so happy. I didn't want to ruin it with my retarded feelings."

"So, he never knew?" Alice questioned.

"No. After seeing them together so much, and having him ditch me for her so often, I had to say something. I was going crazy."

Bella-Eleventh Grade Year

"Edward, can we talk for a second?" I asked. We had been studying at his house all day, and I had been working up my nerve to confess my feelings to him.

"Yeah, of course. What's up?" He asked as he sat down his pencil.

"Well," I began "I know you and Rachel are happy, and I don't want to interfere, but I need to tell you something." My heart beat was racing and my palms were sweaty. I had never been nervous around him before.

"What is it Bella? Just tell me."

I swallowed hard. "Okay. It's just that lately... I've kinda been having feelings for you." I said softly as I fidgeted with my pen.

"Really?" He asked.


"Why are you telling me this now?" He asked.

"What do you mean? When was I supposed to tell you?" I asked.

He sat back in his seat and ran his hands through his hair. "I don't know, but telling me now wasn't it. You could have told me anytime in the past twelve years."

"I didn't know until you told me you were in love with her. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I've been putting this off for a while because I didn't want to complicate what you have with Rachel." I retorted.

"Well this is really shitty timing. What am I supposed to do? You know how I feel about Rachel."

"I know. I'm sorry."

He looked at me with pain in his eyes. "What do you want me to do, Bella? You want me to break up with a great girl because you might finally want to be more than friends?"

"I don't know, Edward. I just needed you to know." I replied. I could see this was not going to work out in my favor and deep down I had to wonder if that was what I had even wanted. Was I confessing to Edward to inform him or to make myself feel better? I had no idea. I was starting to get upset.

"You needed me to know? Why? So that when I'm looking at Rachel and she's telling me she loves me, I can be thinking that the girl I've wanted for twelve years finally wants me too?" He sarcastically replied.

"That's not what I wanted. Never mind. Just forget I said anything." I said while I began to gather my books. I packed them in my back pack and began to walk towards the door.

"Bella! Wait!" He called out.

"Just forget it, Edward. I'm sorry I told you." I replied as I walked out the door.

"What happened after that?" Alice asked.

"Nothing. He didn't break up with her. It was awkward between us for months. I felt like my whole life had changed. I eventually started dating a guy, and that helped to take my mind off of Edward. It didn't last long though. I wasn't the long term relationship type back then."

"How long were they together?" Rose questioned.

"A while. I think they broke up the summer before senior year. Then all of a sudden he was back to being my best friend."

"And the awkwardness was gone?" Alice asked.

"It was a little weird at first, but we soon fell back in our comfortable routine with each other. We never talked about the day that I confessed all of that to him. It was like it never happened."

"You two are weird." Rose stated.

"We are not. It's just how our relationship has always been. I was always there for him, and he was there for me." I stated as I began remembering the time that summer when Edward was there for me more than he had ever been.

Bella- Summer before Senior Year

I was going on a date with a guy I met at the mall one day. He picked me up from my house, met my parents and everything. We went to dinner and were having great conversations. He seemed like a really great guy. That was until after the movie when he was supposed to take me home, and began driving in the opposite direction.

I asked where we were going, but he just kept telling me he had something special planned. Instead of feeling excited, I was feeling scared. I didn't really know this guy, and he was driving somewhere I knew nothing about. I began to panic internally as we reached an empty park.

He parked the car and released his seat belt. He reached his hand over and began to slide it up my leg. I pushed him away quickly.

I asked what he was doing, but he kept telling me to relax. How the hell could I relax when I was in a dark, empty park with a guy I barely knew?

I told him to stop but he didn't. He was so much stronger than me, and before I knew it he was climbing over the console and on top of me.

At that point, I knew I had to get out of there. It was either stay and be raped, or get out and just run. I chose the latter, I opened the door and ran as fast as I could. I hid in the woods for a while. I could hear him yelling out, and threatening me, but I didn't care. I would have stayed in those woods all night.

He finally left, and I grabbed my cell phone out of my purse. I didn't know who to call. My parents would have freaked out.

The only person I could call was Edward. I dialed his number and prayed he answered.

"Hey Bella! What's up?"

"Thank God you answered!" As breathed heavily into the phone.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" He asked.

I began to cry uncontrollably, finally allowing my emotions to come out since the bastard was gone.

"Bella? Where are you?"

"I don't know. I'm in the woods at some park. I'm scared." I managed to say through my sobs.

"Why are you in the woods? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just scared. That guy I went out with turned out to be an asshole and tried to make me have sex with him. Can you come get me?"

"Son of a bitch. I'm already in the car. I just need to know where to go. Try to walk towards the road so you can tell me the name."

"Okay. I'm just scared that he's not really gone. What if he's hiding and waiting on me?"

"Don't think like that. He's probably gone. Just help me out here."

"Okay. Don't hang up." I said as I began to walk out of the woods towards the street lights. I didn't see him or his car anywhere as I approached the street sign. I read the sign to Edward.

"Okay. I'll be there before you know it. Find a bench or table to sit at until I get there."

He stayed on the phone with me the whole time, even though I cried for the majority of the time. I was constantly on edge that the guy was gonna come back looking for me.

I saw his car pull in the park and I instantly began to run towards him. He was out of the car and running towards me before I could reach him.

"Thank God you're alright." He sighed.

"Thank you for coming." I said as I cried into his chest.

"You don't have to thank me. I'm just glad you're okay. I'm gonna kill that loser."

"Let's just go. I don't wanna think of him anymore."

"Okay." He said before walking me over to the car. He shut the door behind me, and got in on his side. He reached to grab my hand and squeezed it.

I looked at him and he smiled. "You're safe now," He said.

I knew I was safe with him. He would never even have thought to do something as deplorable as that other guy had. Edward was a nice guy.

"I never knew any of that, Bella!" Rose said.

"I've never really told anyone. It's just one of those secrets between me and Edward," I confessed as I attempted to purge the memory of that awful night from my brain.

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