Sunday, February 28, 2010

Epilogue

Epilogue

6 Months Later


To say that everything after the catastrophic wedding/ break up day was all butterflies and rainbows would be a huge lie.

I had Edward and he was the amazing partner I had always imagined he would be. He anticipated my wants and needs. After knowing me for over twenty years, he basically knew everything about me. We had been given the ability to skip the introduction phase of the relationship and get straight to the love and admiration phase. He was an amazing lover and I slapped myself more than a few times for thinking that anyone else was right for me.

He would send flowers to my office for no reason or show up unannounced to take me to lunch. I periodically received text messages throughout the day just to say he loved me. He was always amazing me with his attention to romance and details. He often told me that I had completed his life by making the decision to be with him and that he was going to spend every day showing me I had made the right decision.

We spent holidays together with out families. It seemed that everyone had known we were perfect for each other and they were just waiting for it to happen. His parents had always treated me like I was one of their own and vice-versa with my parents. Although we hadn't even began to talk about marriage, our families consistently asked us about having babies. Edward and I had talked about it and wanted to have kids someday but we wanted to have time to enjoy our relationship. There were twenty years of pent up feelings that we were finally getting to live out. I certainly wasn't ready to give that up yet.


The honeymoon Jacob and I were set to embark on was to begin the day after the wedding. It was an all expense paid week in Jamaica. I had all of the travel documents and plane tickets with me at the church. I knew there was no way Jacob was going and even if he wanted to he couldn't get on the plane without his ticket information that I had. Everyone had decided that I needed to go with or without Jacob. My family had spent a lot of hard earned money to pay for that trip and they were not going to let it go to waste. After a ton of calls and a little more money my father had convinced them to change all of Jacob's information over to Edward's. So, Edward and I were going on the honeymoon planned for myself and Jacob. It was slightly disturbing and a little crazy to say the least but who were we to turn down a free week in Jamaica?

The vacation in Jamaica was beautiful. We swam with the dolphins, laid on the beach, had breakfast and dinner delivered to our room. The room alone was like a small mansion. The bed and bathroom were nicer than in my own home. The water was crystal clear and it was the most relaxing week of my life.

I had a minor break down when we arrived. At the resort check in, the lady welcomed us as Mr. and Mrs. Black. Awkward barely covers it.

Edward didn't know what to say and I broke out in tears. I wasn't crying because Jacob wasn't there and I wasn't Mrs. Black, I was crying because I felt like I had wasted so much time with Jacob when I could've spent that time with Edward. I shed tears of joy because of the fact that I would never be Mrs. Black and the fact that I knew I would never endure the problems with Edward that I had endured with Jacob. They were two totally different species of men. I thanked my lucky stars over and over again that I had that epiphany at the church.

At the end of that wonderful week Edward and I had to come back to the real world and deal with the issues we had forgotten about. I would have to deal with Jacob. I had to move my belongings out of his home. I would have to tell him that I had gone on the honeymoon without him. I just hoped that no one had told him about Edward yet. Edward was none of his concern and I didn't want to hear anything he had to say about the situation.

When we arrived home, I checked my voice mails. My mom had called to tell me that Jacob hired a moving company to move all of my belongings to her house. That made me immensely happy. I wouldn't have to deal with Jacob after all.

I stayed with my parents for a while as I figured out where I was going to live on a permanent basis. Luckily, I had a good amount of money in savings and my job paid me well. It wasn't long until I was out looking for apartments. Edward always accompanied me. His excuse was that he didn't want me living in a dangerous area, but no matter how upscale the buildings were, he always told me it wasn't the right place for me.

I secretly thought that he thought none of the places were good enough for me because they weren't his apartment. I wasn't going to ask to live with him. If he wanted me to live with him he was going to have to ask. I would have moved in with him at the drop of a hat. Some people may have thought it was us moving too quickly and that I was rebounding. That would have been true had our relationship been like everyone else's but it wasn't. Our situation was unique.

What was there to fear about living with Edward? Nothing. I knew all of his secrets and he knew mine. I knew exactly what type of guy he was and I knew that he would never dream of hurting me. After all the drunken nights I spent with him when he could have easily taken advantage of me and he never did, there was nothing to fear of building a life with Edward.

Just as I was going to put a deposit down on a beautiful 3 bedroom apartment in the nicest part of town, Edward stopped me. He met me at the leasing office and asked if I would consider living in that apartment with him. Of course, I accepted. It was a new apartment for both us where we could build new memories together without drudging up old memories of past relationships.

It seemed as though my life couldn't get any better. Edward and I were walking to one of our favorite bistros near the apartment when we ran into Jacob. He was walking toward us and had his eyes focused on the ground. He looked like hell. His hair wasn't neat like he usually kept it, it was long and bushy and looked like it hadn't been brushed in days. He wore sweatpants and a ratty old shirt with sneakers that were dirtier than most homeless men's. I didn't want to have to talk to him and I hoped that he wouldn't even see us as we passed each other. No such luck.

Just as he was approaching us, Edward squeezed my hand and whispered "It's gonna be fine." I wasn't so certain. The break up had clearly effected him more than I thought was possible. Jacob had always been such a strong willed and egotistical man. I never thought I would have been able to effect him in such a way.

Jacob froze in mid stride as his eyes locked with mine. Edward tried to keep me moving by pulling my hand but I couldn't just ignore him.

"Wha...where....why?" Jacob stammered.

"Hey Jake." I replied simply.

"Uh hey."

"How have you been?" I asked and immediately felt stupid. It was clear how he had been but I didn't know what else to say.

"I'm here. You?"

I didn't want to rub it in his face that my life was the best it had been in years but I didn't want to lie either. "Fine." I replied.

"You're with...uh....him now?" He asked as he pointed to Edward.

I nodded my head in confirmation.

"I should've known. Fucking prick was always after you." He replied angrily.

Edward stepped in front of me and pushed Jacob back. "You will not speak to her that way and you most certainly will not talk about me like that when I'm standing right here." He turned to me and grabbed my hand again. "Let's go Bella. This loser doesn't deserve our time."

I allowed Edward to lead me away. I knew he was right. The best thing was to walk away. The situation was only going to get worse and Jacob had no impact on our new lives. I glanced back at Jacob as I walked away and saw the anger in eyes turn back to sadness. I almost felt bad for him but I knew he deserved everything that was happening to him. I also knew that Edward and I deserved each other, and no one and nothing was going to take that away.

I never heard from Jacob again. Luckily, we didn't share many friends and I didn't have to hear about what he was doing. In my mind it was like he never existed. I almost completely pushed those years of memories out of my mind.

I had the most amazing man I could ever ask for. We were starting a life together. We would have babies one day and we would grow old together, we would be that couple in forty years sitting on the porch in our rocking chairs, yelling at our grand children running in the yard. I had no doubt in my mind that we would love each other until the day we die. We had already been through so much together that there wasn't anything we couldn't get through together. Always together.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Chapter 8- Revelation




Chapter 8- Revelation

What was I going to do? I had almost forgot that I still had a decision to make. A life altering decision at that. Could I walk in the church and marry a man that I wasn't sure was the man for me? Could I walk away from what had been my life for so long? I started to panic again. I was lost in my mind. I was at a fork in the road and had no idea which road to take. I had to make a decision between two men who had been such a huge part of my life. Either way someone was getting hurt today. It was either me or the man at the altar, Jacob.

Yes, I had agreed to marry him. He was a good guy even after the rocky start we endured. He loved me, and I knew it. I loved him. The question was: Did I love him enough to commit myself to him for the rest of my life? I wasn't entering into marriage lightly. I wasn't the type to think if it didn't work we could just get divorced. I thought of marriage as a lifetime commitment. Just like the vows stated. Why agree to the vows if you're not going to take them seriously?

Then there was Edward. The nicest guy I'd known my entire life. The man that had been my best friend since pre school. I knew Jacob didn't like us being friends, and I didn't know if I could live the rest of my life without Edward in it. I thought deep down maybe Jacob was jealous of the bond between Edward and I. Over the years I had always been told that Edward was the one for me. It always seemed that no matter who he dated, it never worked out because he was always waiting for me. I never took any of those comments into consideration, thinking I knew better than they did. Who were they to tell me what my best friend was doing? I knew him better than anyone; just as he knew me better than anyone. There were secrets that Jacob didn't even know but Edward knew. Edward was like my own personal locked box, I knew all of my secrets were safe with him.

"Fuck!" I shouted in frustration as I rubbed my face.

"I don't want to rush you, but you know everyone is waiting on you." Alice said.

"I know. I just don't know what to do. This is such a huge decision. Is Edward out there? Did y'all see him?" I asked. I needed to know if he showed up for the wedding. I had invited him against Jacob's wishes. He was my life long best friend, and he deserved to at least be invited.

"He was seated when I came back here." Rose answered.

I froze. He was here. He came. "Was he alone?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." I began to pace the floor. Lost in my thoughts again. Jacob. Edward. Jacob. Edward. Jacob. Edward. My mind went back and forth over and over again. I felt like making a list of pros and cons for the both of them, but that didn't seem fair. A lifetime of friendship and trust didn't seem to translate well on paper. Edward was amazing, sweet, kind, loving, faithful, trustworthy, smart, patient. I had a lifetime of experiences to know that Edward would never hurt me. All I had with Jacob was a few years of a sometimes stable relationship.

Finally, it was like the sun peering through the clouds after a thunderstorm, it hit me. I knew what I needed to do.

"Okay. Can you guys go out there and wait for me. I won't be long."

Rose and Alice looked at each other before answering. "Sure." They exited the room and I got dressed. I walked out of the room and saw Rose, Alice and my dad standing in front of the doors to the sanctuary. They all looked at me with confusion. I was only making this speech once. I walked past them and through the doors. As I quickly walked past all of the guests I heard them all whisper and gasp. I saw Jacob's face tense up as I neared him. He knew what was happening. It was never good to see the bride walking down the aisle in jeans and a shirt.

I stood in front of him and whispered. "I'm sorry. I just can't marry you. We both know this isn't right. We would hate ourselves in ten years for wasting all of that time. I know that we won't be happy in the long run. Please don't hate me."

He glowered at me for a moment. "I can't believe you!" He shouted through his clenched jaw. "Doing this here, now! You could've told me this before I was standing up here dressed like a fucking penguin!"

I knew his reaction was going to be bad. He always had a bad temper, but I wasn't going to marry him just so he wouldn't be mad. "I'm sorry Jacob. You will thank me for this later I promise."

"For embarassing me in front of everyone I know! Not a fucking chance, Bella. Why are you doing this? I gave you everything." He asked. He wasn't trying to be quiet anymore, and the whole church was silent as they listened to our conversation.

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you. It's just not right. I'm sorry." I said quietly.

He began to take his jacket and tie off. He proceeded to throw them on the ground. He started to undo the buttons on his shirt. "Just rip my fucking heart out while you are it, why don't you? Fuck this. You don't deserve me." He shouted before storming down the aisle and through the doors.

I stood at the altar in front of a sea of guests stunned into silence. I hadn't expected he was going to make such a scene. I knew that would be the last time I saw him. He would have movers come in and pack and move all of my stuff. He wouldn't want to see me anymore. I had hurt his pride in front of everyone he knew. That was the worst thing you could do to a man like him. I hadn't planned on doing it that way, but it would've been worse ten years down the road.

Finally, I turned to the audience and took a deep breath. "I want to thank you all for coming today, and I apologize that there isn't going to be a wedding here today. I'm sorry for the scene you just witnessed. I hope you understand that I couldn't marry someone that I knew wasn't right for me. I'm sorry for wasting your time today. Please forgive me." I walked down the aisle and spotted Edward sitting in the audience. He was looking directly into my eyes. I didn't see in his eyes what I saw in everyone else's. In his, I saw compassion and understanding. In everyone else's I saw curiosity, astonishment and perhaps some amusement.


I didn't care about everyone else, I cared about Edward. I walked out of the doors and came face to face with my dad.

"Bells, I can't say that I'm happy you did this, but I am happy that you didn't marry him if you weren't happy. I'll deal with everyone. Go back in the dressing room, and I'll get you when everyone is gone." He said before hugging me.

"Thanks Dad. Can you do me a favor and tell Edward to come in there please?"

He looked at me with confusion in his eyes. "Sure thing."

I then practically ran into the dressing room. I didn't want to have to answer every one's nosey ass questions. I just wanted to talk to Edward. I needed to tell him everything.

I paced the room again while I waited for Edward. Soon there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"It's Edward."

I rushed over to the door and opened it. He walked in and looked at me with concern. It was as if he wanted to say something but didn't know what.

"Your dad said you wanted to see me."

"Yeah, I did. Sit down. I need to talk to you." We sat down in the chairs Alice and Rose and been sitting in. I gazed at him for a few moment before I spoke. I had forgotten how beautiful he was, and I wondered how I'd ever thought he wasn't practically perfect. We all had our flaws, but you honestly couldn't ask for a better person. He was an amazing friend, and I knew he had been a great partner for his girlfriends. I could only imagine how our relationship would be.

"You don't have to talk about it you know? I'm sure your day has been hard enough without explaining it to me."

"No, it's not that at all. I was just thinking." I paused. "Do you know why I called off the wedding?"

"Not happy?"

"That's part of it."

"Okay. Is there more?" He questioned.

"Yeah, a lot more. I put that dress on, and I started to freak out when I thought about spending the rest of my life with someone that was just a good guy, but that I wasn't in love with. And then I thought about you. I thought about our twenty plus years of friendship. I thought about everything that had led me to this place and time. I thought about how amazing you have always been to me. I thought about all the times I wanted to kiss you or tell you I loved you. I thought about all the times it seemed like you wanted to do the same thing."

"Okay."

"Edward, I'm in love with you. I have been for a long time. Every time I tried to tell you, something would happen or the timing wasn't right. I want to be with you. I want it to be you and me. No one else. Just us. I love you, Edward." As I felt my emotions start to overflow. I looked at him as he tried to process everything I had said. I'm sure it wasn't what he was expecting to hear today.

"I ... uh... Are..." He stuttered.

"It's okay. You don't have to say it back. I just needed you to know. It's you. It's always been you."

He reached out for my hand and held it between both of his. He looked me straight in the eye. "It's not that Bella. I love you. I've been in love with you since I was four. I just never thought I'd actually hear you say these things. I feel like I'm dreaming. I came here today planning to be upset about seeing you marry another man. Now, all of that has changed. I'm just trying to take it all in."

I lept out of my seat and hugged him as tightly as I could. He wrapped his arms around me, and it felt like I was finally home. It felt right. In his arms was where I was supposed to be. In that moment, I knew I had made the right decision.

I felt his breath on my ear. "I love you so much. You don't understand how happy you have made me today." He whispered and my heart jumped.

I pulled back to look in his eyes. It looked almost like he was going to cry. "I love you too." I said. Then he pressed his lips against mine, and I knew in that very second that being in love with him was right. He was my best friend, my confidant, and now he was my lover.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Chapter 7- Another Side of Jacob




"We know Jacob moved to Atlanta that summer after he graduated, and you were so sickeningly happy that I almost had to reconsider my friendship with you." Rose said.

"Was I that bad?"

Alice swatted at Rose's arm. "No, you weren't. I was happy for you. It was nice to see you so in love." Rose stuck her tongue out at Alice in return.

"Thank you, Alice. It wasn't all perfect you know?"

"Yeah I remember the first time you came crying to us." Alice responded. My mind began to remember that horrible day.

~ ~
Jacob and I had been dating for almost nine months. He had accepted a great entry level position at a firm in Atlanta. His bosses seemed to like him, and he was brilliant with his work. He had asked me to move in with him, but I kept getting the feeling it was too soon. I knew I was in love with him, but I didn't want to push our luck.

He invited me over for dinner one night. It was supposed to just be a quiet night in with dinner and a movie, but things went terribly wrong. I took the elevator up to his floor and knocked on the door. He opened the door and kissed me quickly and hungrily. He didn't usually greet me with such a hungry kiss, and I was confused. I followed him into the kitchen where he was putting the finishing touches on dinner.

"How was your day?" He asked as he handed me a glass of wine.

"It was good. Pretty uneventful, but good. Yours?" I sipped the wine.

"It was pretty hectic. It's nice to be at home with you and just relax."

"You didn't have to cook dinner. We could have ordered in."

"No, it's fine. I wanted to cook for you." I felt the concern growing inside of my gut. It was as if there was something he was leaving out, something I was missing.

He was tossing the salad when his phone rang. "Bella, can you get that for me? It might be the firm."

"Sure." I reached over the counter and grabbed his phone. "Hello?" I heard a female voice on the other end.

"Is this Jacob's phone?" She asked.

"Yes. He's busy right now. Can I take a message?"

"Oh my God. It's her." I heard her say softly before she hung up and my heart stopped. It was her? What did that mean? Who was she? I held the phone to my ear. I was in a daze as I stared at his back.

"Who was it?" He asked.

I stood there completely stunned. I couldn't move or say anything. I was frozen.

"Bella? Who was it?" He put down the salad and turned around. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I....I.... I don't know. She hung up." I sputtered out.

He took the phone from my hand and began pressing buttons on the phone. I stared at him as he frantically shuffled through his phone, and then he stopped.

"Who is she?" I asked.

"Fuck." He said under his breath as he slammed his phone down on the counter.


"Answer me." I demanded. He was silent for a minute, and it was almost like I could see his brain trying to think of something to say. "Fine." I grabbed my purse and began to walk towards the door. He didn't even try to stop me. He just let me leave. I knew there was something going on that he was trying to hide. There was no reason for her to hang up, and there was no reason for him not to answer my question.

I drove as fast as I could to Alice and Rose. I needed my girls. I had never been put in such a position before and didn't know how to react. I didn't want to run back to him and act like it hadn't happened, but I didn't want to let him go either. He called non stop for the next couple of days, and I refused to talk to him. He needed to understand how hurt I was and that I wasn't just going to accept it.
~ ~
"Asshole." Rose stated.

"It was a bad time for me. He would never admit to cheating on me, but I always felt like he had. Just because he wouldn't admit it didn't mean it didn't happen. We eventually moved past it, but there was a piece of me that wished he had just been man enough to admit it."

"And you moved in with him after a while. You must have really been in love." Alice said.

"Yeah I did and I was. I wanted it to work so badly that I just overlooked things that I shouldn't have."

~ ~
Edward had called me after months and months of us not talking and asked me if I wanted to go to dinner to catch up. I missed him dearly, and I didn't have any plans with Jacob so I accepted his invitation. Jacob came home that afternoon, and I informed him that I was going to dinner with Edward.

"Okay. Have a good time." He said. He and Edward had met briefly, but didn't really know anything about each other.

"I will baby. Call you on my way home." I kissed him lightly and walked out the door.



I met Edward at the Japanese Steakhouse. It was one of our favorite spots for dinner. We ate and talked about everything. He had told me about his fiancee, and I had told him about Jacob. We expressed how much we missed each other, and by the time dinner was over, we had made plans to meet again in a few weeks. I gave him a hug as we exited the restaurant.

As I got in my car, I finally noticed the time. It was later than I thought. The time had simply escaped from us. I dialed Jacob's number and he answered on the first ring.

"Hello." He said.

"Hey honey. Sorry it's so late. We just got to talking and the time just flew by. Do you want me to pick you up some dinner?"

"Bella, it's way past dinner time. I've already eaten. You should have let me know you were gonna be out so late. I was worried."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just don't do it again." He stated.

"Uh okay. I'll be home shortly." I said before he hung up the phone. I was stunned that he had hung up before saying good bye.

When I arrived home, it was like I walked into a war zone. He was pacing the floor and grabbing at his hair. As soon as he saw me walk in the door, he started in on me. "Bella, you can't see Edward anymore."

"What? Why?" Who did he think he was to tell me that I couldn't have dinner with my best friend?

"Because I am your boyfriend, and I don't feel comfortable with your relationship with him."

What the hell was he talking about? "You've lost me. I know you're my boyfriend, but you can't tell me that I can't see my best friend."

He raced over to me and pointed his finger in my face. "Yes I can! There is more to your relationship with him than friends, and I won't allow you to make me look like a fool!"

"So, you can deny that you ever cheated on me even though I know it's true, but I can't hang out with Edward?"

"Don't bring that shit up again. We've already discussed that."

"But you never admitted it."

"Nothing ever happened to admit to! You have to choose either me or Edward!"

How could he make me choose between the man I was in love with and my life long best friend? It made me look at him totally different. I didn't know what to do and I certainly wasn't going to make that decision right then and there.

~ ~

"And you chose Jacob." Alice said.

"Yeah, I did. As much as I valued Edward's friendship, I had to choose love. Edward was engaged, and I was living with Jacob. We were both starting new lives, and I couldn't live in the past with Edward. It was the hardest decision I'd ever had to make."

"What did you tell Edward?" Alice asked.

"I never really told him anything. I just avoided his calls and eventually he stopped calling."

"That's sad." Rose interjected.

"I agree. After a while of distancing myself from Edward, I started texting him. I couldn't exclude him from my life all together. I explained that I had been extremely busy, and that for a while texting would be the best way to get in touch with me. So, we kept in touch that way for a long time." The truth was that I loved Jacob, and I wanted a future with him, but there were sides of him that were coming out and I wasn't too sure about them. I wanted Jacob, and I wanted Edward too. I just couldn't let Jacob know that I was still in touch with Edward.

"Edward didn't marry that girl though." Alice stated.

"No, clearly not. They eventually broke up, and I felt bad that I couldn't be there for him like I had always been in the past. I unconsciously began to pull away from Jacob. I just felt the need to be there for the guy that had always been there for me. I snuck away from Jacob a couple times and went to see Edward. There was something deep down inside of me that told me I needed to go to Edward. I didn't feel bad for it either, it felt like the right thing to do."

"You shouldn't have felt bad. Edward had always been a huge part of your life." said Rose.

"I know. It was just a tough situation."

"And here we are, sitting in this church waiting on you to decide what you are gonna do. So, what are you gonna do Bella? You gonna put the dress back on and go up to the altar or are you gonna walk away?" Alice asked.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Chapter 6-Mysterious New Guy


Mysterious New Guy

"Okay, so you've covered everything up until you were twenty one. Isn't that when you met Jacob?" Alice asked.

I began to answer but was interrupted by a knock on the door. All three of our heads turned to the door in a flash.

"Oh shit! Who do you think that is? How long have we been talking?" I blurted out.

Alice looked at the clock on the wall. "It hasn't been that long, but I guess everyone is getting antsy." She rose from her chair and walked over to the door. She turned to me before opening the door. "Let me handle this. Don't worry." She opened the door, and I saw it was my father. I was relieved that it was just him.

He attempted to walk in the door, but Alice stopped him. "Excuse me Mr. Swan, where do you think you are going?" She questioned him.

He looked her up and down before answering. "Alice, my daughter has kept and entire church of guests waiting for her, and I want to know what is going on."

"Alice, you can let him in." I interjected.

She turned back to my dad and let her hand drop. "Fine."

As he walked toward me, I could feel him taking in my appearance. I knew the question that would follow.

"Bells, why aren't you dressed?"

"Um... because I....umm...I don't have time or energy right now to update you on all this dad. Will you just please tell everyone to sit tight, and I promise I will be ready to face them in a few minutes?" I asked in the little girl voice that always gets him to buckle.

He pursed his lips and thought for a second. "Sure thing, Bells. Just don't be too long. I don't want a riot out there." He then kissed my forehead and gave me a quick hug before heading back out of the room.

I let out a deep breath, and tried to relax back into the chair.

"I guess we gotta hurry up before my dad has to use police tactics out there. Where were we?"

"We were up until the point you met Jacob, weren't we?" Alice asked.

I nodded my head. They knew where, when and how I had met Jacob; they were with me that night.

~ ~
Spring Break - 21 years old


Alice, Rosalie and I had all decided that a trip to the beach was exactly what we needed for spring break. We needed to get away from school, soak up some sun, and look at some hot men. We headed down to Miami for a week of partying and relaxing. None of us were dating anyone at the time. I was finally over my ex, and had somehow repressed my feelings for Edward so much that I almost fooled myself into believing they didn't exist at all.

It was our last night in Miami and we had decided to go to a club that everyone had been raving about all week. We were dressed in our hottest outfits and ready to dance. There were lots of guys ready to buy us drinks and even more that were ready to dance with us. It seemed that we were the life of the club that night. The DJ was calling attention to us, we were dancing on the bar, and taking shots off of each others bodies.


I was on my way to the restroom for what seemed to be the twentieth time that night, when I bumped into the most beautiful man. He was tall, dark skinned, dark hair, well built, well dressed, and had the most amazingly white smile I had ever seen. I pressed my hand against his chest in an attempt to steady myself and I could feel his hands against my back.

"I'm so sorry! I'm such an idiot!" I shouted over the music.

He smiled and I felt like I was going to faint. This man was too beautiful. "Don't worry about it."

I knew I should've kept walking but I was so mesmerized by him that I couldn't make my body actually move. I finally shook my head, trying to regain my thoughts. "And now I'm a staring idiot. This just keeps getting better."


He laughed. "I kinda like that you're staring. If you haven't noticed, I'm staring at you too." He was right, I hadn't noticed at all. I assumed he was looking at me like he would look at a lost puppy. "What's your name?"

"Bella."

"Hi Bella, I'm Jacob." He released me from his hands, and held out his right hand. I put my hand in his, and he began to shake it. "Nice to meet you, Bella." The way he said my name was almost orgasmic. It was so sensual, or maybe it was all the alcohol I had consumed.

"You too."

We held hands for a little too long, but I didn't feel him pull away. He seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. A simple handshake, who woulda thought it could be so intense? Certainly, not me.

I had been so wrapped up in him that I had completely forgotten I had to pee. "Oh my God. I really have to get to the bathroom. It was nice meeting you Jacob. Maybe I'll see you out there." I began to walk around him, when I noticed he had turned with me.

"Well, let's not leave that to chance. How about I wait here for you?"

"That sounds great! I'll be right back!" I ran to the bathroom and checked my appearance in the mirror. It was hot as hell in the club and we had been dancing our asses off, but I didn't look as bad as I had I thought. I smoothed out my hair a little and reapplied my lipstick before walking out.

I half expected him to be gone. Like he was too good to be true, but sure enough he was right in the same spot I had left him.

"You ready to face the masses again?" He asked.

"I sure am!" We walked back out to the bar, and ordered a couple drinks. I went to pay for mine, and he paid the bartender before I could even get my money out. "You didn't have to pay for that, ya know?"

"I know, but honestly, who lets a beautiful woman like yourself pay for her own drinks?" He was so sweet, and I could feel myself blushing at his compliment. "You wanna go out on the deck so we can talk?"

I nodded my head, and followed behind him. There were a lot of people on the deck, but it was much more quiet and easier for us to talk. We talked about everything. The conversation flowed easily. I learned that he was graduating from law school that semester, and that he planned to go into corporate law afterwards. He was an only child, he was raised on an Indian reservation, and much to my surprise he had a job waiting for him in Atlanta after graduation.

He asked questions about my family, childhood, friends, school; just about everything. It seemed that we wanted to know everything about each other.

The club closed and I didn't want to separate from him. It was my last night in the city, and I didn't know if we would ever see each other again. Rose and Alice tried to convince me to go back to the hotel with them, but I wanted to spend as much time with Jacob as I possible. I convinced them that I would be fine, and Jacob and I headed out for a walk on the beach.


We held hands and talked. We sat in the sand and looked up at the moon and stars. The time passed entirely too quickly, and before I knew it, we could see the sun begin to rise.

He walked me to the hotel, saying it was too dangerous for me to walk alone and that he wanted to spend every last moment with me that was possible. We reached my room and I turned to him and handed him my cell phone. "Here, put your number in here. This way I won't lose it."

He took the phone and began to enter in his number. As he returned my phone he handed me his. "You too." I entered my information and pressed save.

"So, I guess this is it." I stated.

He reached for my hand. "I'll be in Atlanta in a few short months. We can talk on the phone until then." I nodded. I felt myself starting to tear up. "You know, I've never felt so much so quick."

"Me either. It's surprised the hell out of me." I confessed.

"Me too." I looked into his eyes and he began to lean towards me. It hit at that moment that we hadn't even kissed the whole night. All we had done was hold hands. It was different-it was nice. I leaned into him and closed the distance between us. I felt his lips against mine and it felt like fire had been shot through my veins.

~ ~

"Wow, Bella. I thought you two had totally gotten it on at the beach that night. I didn't know you only kissed once." Rose interrupted.

I laughed lightly. "No, he was such a gentleman. I figured once we got back home he would forget all about me, but he didn't."

"And thank God he didn't. You were so depressed for those few months. It was like you sat around all day waiting to talk to him." Alice said.

"Yeah, I was a lovesick puppy, but when you meet someone like that you can't help it."

"Where was Edward during that whole time?" Rose asked.

"Well, after finding out about Jacob he started dating a new girl and they got pretty serious pretty quickly. They moved in together after a while, and in typical Bella-Edward fashion we kind of lost touch."

"Maybe, but I doubt the feelings he had for you went away." Alice said.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Chapter 5- It's What We Do





"So, you two never hooked up? After he saved you and everything?" Alice asked.

There were times after the night he rescued me when I thought we would confess our feelings for one another again, but it never happened. I was too scared to lose him as my best friend to say anything, it wasn't worth the risk. I had gotten pretty good at repressing my feelings by that point. I assumed he never said anything for the same reasons.

"No, we never did."

"Well that sucks!" Rose interjected.

"Yeah, I just learned to live with it. It wasn't much longer until he met Lisa, the girl he was engaged to."

"Edward was engaged? And who is Lisa?" Rose questioned.

"He met Lisa shortly after we graduated high school. They were damn near inseparable. It was almost sickening to watch them together. Edward kind of distanced himself from me when he met her. I don't know if she had a problem with our friendship, or if he was doing it to spare my feelings. Either way I was happy to not have to look at them." I said as I cringed in my seat.

"I'm glad she's gone. I don't like her already." Rose said in a harsh tone.

"She wasn't that bad. She was actually a nice person. It was just hard for me to be around. I soon found Brian, and we dated for a couple years. Edward and I barely talked during that time. We would occasionally have dinner or catch a movie, but it wasn't anything like it used to be. Brian was jealous of Edward, and Lisa was jealous of me. We kind of drifted apart."

"Oh, I remember Brian. You were dating him when we all met in college right?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, that was him. It was a shitty relationship, but it kept me occupied and in spite of him being as asshole, I actually learned a lot about myself during our time together."

"Yeah, he was an asshole." Rose stated.

"Believe me, I know!" I said.

"I know why you and Brian broke up, what happened with Lisa and Edward?" Alice inquired.

"Funny thing is we actually broke up within days of each other. I finally dumped Brian after finding him in bed with another girl. Edward called off the engagement after he found out she was sleeping with her boss."

"Wow. Maybe Lisa and Brian should've hooked up." Rose laughed.

"That would've been funny. Two cheating assholes." I said with a giggle. "So, yeah that was the end of those two relationships. Although I wasn't surprised at Brian's cheating, I was still hurt and of course, Edward and I did what we always do when we are single."

"Back to best friends." Alice said.

"You know it. He was hurt, and I was hur,t and we went back to our comfort zone-each other." My mind began to drift back to the first night I saw Edward after our breakups.

~ ~
Bella 21 years old

We sat on Edward's couch in his apartment. He was going to a college that was mere minutes away from mine. I was still living at home with my parents, but Edward had gotten a job and moved out on his own. We were watching some stupid movie, in an attempt to cheer ourselves up. We were like wounded animals trying to heal each other. We were eating pizza in our pajamas and laughing at the screen. We didn't talk much until the movie was over, afraid that one of us would break down and if that happened the other would break down soon after.

"That was a pretty good movie, huh?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, Martin Lawrence always makes me laugh."

"So..... what to do now?" He asked.

"I don't know. I'm not really tired are you?"

He shook his head.

"You wanna talk about our screwed up relationships, or pretend like they never happened?" I asked.

"I don't really wanna waste anymore time talking or thinking about her." He stated harshly. I understood his feelings. I didn't really want to talk about Brian either. I had wasted enough time on him already. "Do you wanna talk about him?"

"No. He doesn't deserve my sadness."

"You're right. Neither of them do. We were too good for them anyway."

"Yeah, too bad we had to waste years of our lives figuring that out." I responded. "Thanks for being here for me."

"You don't need to thank me. It's what we do for each other." He said as he wrapped his arms around me. It felt good to be embraced by him. I was certain he and I would never be this close again. Luckily for me, Lisa had fucked up royally. His smell was invigorating and all man. His arms were strong and warm. I took in a deep breath and relished in every second of our embrace.

"Can we just lay down? I just wanna relax. I don't wanna think anymore."

"Sure." He replied as he released me and began to move in his seat so that we could lay across the couch. He snuggled up behind me as I pressed my back against his strong chest. One of his arms was positioned under my neck, while the other was draped across my stomach. I closed my eyes and relaxed against him. I wanted to take it all in. I never knew when the next time would come that a woman would sweep him off of his feet, and my friend would be gone again.


We slept that way the whole night, cuddled against each other and not speaking a word. It didn't progress any farther than cuddling, but it was one of the most intimate nights of my life. Just being with him, wrapped in his arms and knowing that no words needed to be spoken was comforting.

~ ~
"I swear, I can't believe you two. Y'all should have had sex a long time before then and you still didn't do it!" Rose exclaimed.

"That's what everyone thinks, but we just didn't feel that way. There were plenty of occasions for Edward to try something, but he never did. I don't know if he was scared to, or if he was waiting on me. There were plenty of drunken nights after the breakups when we had the perfect opportunity to hook up."

"Do tell!" Alice requested.

~ ~
"Edward," I began as I sat at the bar of our local hangout. I was completely wasted, but I knew Edward would take care of me. He didn't drink much, but he would always go out with me. He never let anything happen to me and he never even made fun of me the next morning. "I love you. You know that?"

He laughed. "Yeah, I know Bells."

"No no no," I slurred out "I'm serious. I've never known anyone like you. You are perfect for me. Why do I waste time with these losers out here?" As I downed another shot.

"You have no idea what you are talking about. You won't even remember this in the morning." He said as he handed me a glass of water.

"Yes I will. You know I'm right. Admit it!" I shouted.

"Whatever you say Bells." He resigned.

Just then we heard the DJ announce that it was last call. I knew then it was time to get one last shot before Edward made me leave and get some food.

I called the bartender over and ordered another shot. I looked over at Edward, he was staring daggers at me.


"What?" I asked.

"You really think you need another shot?"

"Of course I do! That's what you do at last call!"

"Wow. You are gonna be a handful tonight." He stated.

"You have no idea!" I said as I raised my eyebrows at him suggestively.

I had never really been sexually flirty with Edward, and the look on his face was priceless. It was as if he had no idea what to say or do.

"Calm down, Edward! I'm just playing."

Just then the bartender came over with my shot. I instantly downed it and went to reach for the tab. Before I could grab it, Edward swooped in and took it.

"What are you doing? You don't have to pay for me!" I shouted.

"It's cool. I got it."

We left the bar and he took me to an all night cafe, where he forced me to eat a chicken sandwich. He knew if I didn't eat something, I would be sick in the morning. He always took such good care of me.

We made it to his apartment and he basically carried me up the stairs. I went straight to his bedroom and collapsed on his bed. He took my shoes off of me and covered me with the covers. Soon after, I felt him get in the bed and he brushed back a few stray strands of my hair.

I wanted to reach up and kiss him, but I was so out of it that I had no control over my body. When I awoke the next morning he was still sleeping facing me. He looked so peaceful that it made me feel bad for him always taking care of me.

~ ~

"Again! Edward should've taken advantage of you that night." Rose said.

"Most men would have, but not Edward. At least, not with me anyway. He wanted our first time together to be memorable. Not with me trashed and out of it."

"I swear, he's too nice sometimes." said Rose.